Wouldn’t it be nice if bacon cured cancer
Wouldn’t it be nice to shit on the front porch
of someone whose dog left a steaming pile on your lawn
Wouldn’t it be nice if Brussels sprouts tasted like
fried chicken
Wouldn’t it be nice if the combined salaries of
20 teachers was as much as that of one
third-string quarterback
Wouldn’t it be nice to beat the crap out of parents
who think it’s cute that their loud, obnoxious kids
ruin the meal of everyone else in the restaurant
Wouldn’t it be nice to have the financial section
of tomorrow’s newspaper
Wouldn’t it be nice if people on mobile phones
didn’t pollute the air five times louder than normal
Wouldn’t it be nice to live in a simpler time when
Hare Krishnas were the most annoying thing
at airports
Wouldn’t it be nice to not waste time reading
some knucklehead’s rant about what would
be nice